Help Self Woman Blog

How to Turn “Have To” into “Want to”

Would you rather live a “have to” life or a “want to” life?

In life there are many obligations you have to do, things you really don’t enjoy doing. However, if you use some creative imagination you can learn how to convert the have to into a want to. If you have to wash the dishes, make it fun. Turn on the radio loud and sing along while you wash. It will go much faster and won’t seem so much like a chore. Do this with all you have to and before you know it, your have to things will be just as easy as your want to things.

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“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to
achieve: the fear of failure.”

“The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho (1988)

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For more self help information, visit Help Self Woman Book Club where you can download and read as many self help books as you'll ever need. At Help Self Woman you will receive self advice including, anxiety self help, debt self help, depression self help, memory self help, mental health self help, public speaking self help, self help parenting, self esteem self help, self help divorce, self help hypnosis, self help marriage, speed reading self help, adoption self help, stress management self help and more! October 13th, 2008 by Admin in Uncategorized | No Comments

How To Lose Weight While Feasting On Mouth Watering Recipes

You’re not going to believe this.

I’ve discovered a new recipe and cooking guide that allows you to lose weight, gain more energy, and help rid nagging healthy symptoms by feasting on mouth watering recipes. Even better, they’re quick and easy to make – only takes about 30 minutes… even if you’ve never set foot in the kitchen before!

The guide’s called Natural Healing Recipes… because all of the recipes inside are filled with natural healing ingredients based on the ideas of leading alternative health experts!

So, if you want an easy way to awaken your body’s natural ability to heal (and look and feel years younger as a result), then you’re not going to want to miss-out on this.

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“Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections
must first be overcome.”

Dr Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

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6 Quick Tips To Building Self Esteem

• Be forgiving. Once you have forgiven someone, let it go.

• Appreciate the good things in life. Don’t dwell on the bad.

• Tell your truth right away; don’t wait for the right time.

• Do what you love and you will be happy.

• Talk to someone you trust and confide in them about your mistakes. you will feel better for doing so.

• Always do what you say you will, you’ll gain trust and respect from others.

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“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything,
but still I can do something; and because I cannot do
everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can
do.”

Helen Keller (1880-1968)

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Visualizing Your Way To Earning Your First Million Dollars

Most successful people use visualization to help them become a success. If you want to earn a million dollars this year, see yourself as already being in possession of the money. Imagine all the things you will do with it and see yourself doing these things. If you have a dream house get a picture of it and imagine you already live in it.

Imagine how you will decorate each room. Go online and search through the furniture sites and print out a picture of beautiful rooms and hang them around on the walls to give you something to visualize.

If you want a fancy new car or boat get pictures of them and hang them up. Imagine how you feel driving your new car or boat and where you will go. The more you use visualization to make your dreams a reality the more your mind will help you to come up with the way to achieve them.

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“Success is a journey, not a destination - half the fun is
getting there.”

Gita Bellin

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How To Get What You Want Out Of Live

Do you know what you want from life?

Each day you are given a chance to make your life as you want it to be. If you do not know what you want then how can you possibly make it that way. Take time today to really focus on what you really want from life. Write down anything you want to achieve and then add it to your list of goals. Look at your list of goals and if anything has changed from when you wrote them, make the changes now.

There is nothing wrong with changing your goals if you have changed, and find that other things have become more important to you.

Keep your list fresh and work on your goals every day.

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Give me 10 Minutes a day and I will show you how to create
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who have discover the power of “Affirmation and Visualization”.
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We are more interested in making others believe we are
happy than in trying to be happy ourselves.

Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld

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“Why Do Some Affirmations Work - and Others Don’t?”

- By Jeff Staniforth

By definition, an affirmation is a statement repeated time and again either verbally or mentally — or written down. The words of the affirmation statement - in themselves -when spoken, thought of, or written *without* a pictorial (visualized) or emotional connection — make a very weak affirmation.

Affirmations, when worded correctly — and when emotionally charged - are able to tap into the unlimited creative power of your subconscious mind, and manifest your desires.

Affirmations are not all created equal. Some are, of course, better than others. There are *power affirmations* that have been proven again and again to work - and I’ll reveal some of them in a moment.

When you examine the structure of these power affirmations, you, too, can learn how to create your own powerful affirmations for your specific purposes.

Consider the following:

“I am what I choose to be.”
“All my needs are met instantaneously.”
“I love and accept myself exactly as I am.”
“_____________ comes to me easily and effortlessly.”
(Fill in the blank with what you desire.)
“I am now perfectly healthy in body, mind and spirit.”
“I now create my wonderful, ideal life.”

What do the above power affirmations have in common?

1) They’re stated in the present tense.

An affirmation is more effective when stated in the present tense. For example; “I now have a wonderful job.” Avoid affirming something in the future tense, e.g. “I am going to have a wonderful job” or the results will always be waiting to happen.

2) They express a positive statement.

affirmations need to be stated in the most positive terms possible. Avoid negative statements. Affirm what you do want, rather than what you don’t want. For example: “I am no longer sick.” This is a negative statement. Instead, affirm: “I am now perfectly healthy in body, mind and spirit.” This statement is much more powerful as it is positive and reinforces your desired goal and doesn’t confuse your subconscious mind with the mention of the undesirable condition.

3) They’re short and specific.

Short affirmations are easy to say, and have a far greater impact at the subconscious level than those which are long and wordy. Keeping them specific and to the point adds power as the idea is uncluttered by extraneous elements.

The mechanics that make affirmations powerful are:

* Repetition
The importance of repetition cannot be overemphasized. It imprints the affirmation into your subconscious mind.

* Emotions
Get involved, be passionate, and use your emotions. Think carefully about the meaning of the words as you repeat them rather than just writing, typing or saying them.

* Persistence Practicing affirmations with persistence achieves results much sooner than practicing them periodically. Successive sessions will have a compounding effect.

* Belief
You don’t necessarily have to believe your affirmation initially, in order for it to work. Belief will grow with your forthcoming successes. What you do need is the ability to *feel* what it would be like when the desire you’re affirming is fulfilled, or your need met. Every time that you have a need — and that need is met — a certain “feeling” is produced in you. You need to evoke that same feeling when you state your affirmation. In other words, you need to feel with every fiber of your being that what you desire has already happened. Without this feeling, your affirmation is powerless.

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The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away
small stones.

~ Chinese proverb ~

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Feeling Troubled by low Self-Esteem? Here Are Some Suggestions to Help

Choose the ones that are most relevant to your situation and work on them. Don’t expect immediate change from yourself. Be patient change takes time and work. Low Self-esteem Description:

• You avoid looking into the eyes of others.

• You do not smile easily.

• You avoid other people.

• You push people away, even your friends and family.

• You constantly feel bad.

• You are tired all the time.

• You are afraid to take risks.

• You create negative situations.

• You constantly analyze yourself and wonder why you are
the way you are.

• You talk negatively to yourself

• You don’t tell the truth or keep your word.

• You have trouble forgiving yourself or others.

Start Your Journey to Happiness and Self Esteem. Determine which area of your life you want to work on and begin today!

Be “Positive” when deciding what you want to achieve. Don’t tell yourself you can’t do it. When you talk to yourself use positive affirmations and write them down. Keep them short and very specific.

Believe in yourself and your goals. Be persistent and close out your inner voice from negative remarks.

Set aside a specific time each day to meditate, and visualize your goals and achievements. This will help you to set a pattern of daily affirmations to reach your goals.

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“Make a point of connecting with someone new every day. And
reacquaint yourself with anyone you have not spoken to for
some time by going through your address book.”

“Your Personal Survival Guide To The 21st Century”
by Roy Sheppard (1998)

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Communicating Effectively With Your Spouse

No matter how long the two of you have enjoyed wedded bliss, there is always room for improving your marriage. Sometimes, couples who have been together for many years begin to take the need for good communication for granted, and the result can be misunderstandings or no communication at all. Those who are just beginning on the marriage road will do well to heed constructive advice on the best methods for getting your points across to one another. Communication is one of the cornerstones to a healthy marriage,

Listen, listen, listen. Shall we say it again? Listening is the first step in knowing what your spouse is trying to tell you, and yet good listening skills are not necessarily something that we come by naturally. To really know what your mate is saying, you may need to hone your hearing so you get the meaning behind the words as well. Active listening involves repeating information back to your speaker to ensure that you comprehend the message accurately. It usually begins with statements like, “So if I understand you correctly…” or “What I am hearing from you is…”Active listening is the first step on the road to effective communication with your spouse.
Say goodbye to distractions. No matter how good you are at active listening skills, you will not be picking much information out of a dialogue if you are distracted by the kids, the telephone or the television. Find time to talk while the kids are outside playing, at a friend’s house or asleep. Turn off the television, and let the answering machine pick up your calls. Getting rid of potential distractions prior to a conversation will let your mate know that you think his message is important, and will open the door to effective conversation right away.
Say what you mean. When it is your turn to talk, don’t rely on your spouse’s intuition to pick up on your message correctly. If you would like your spouse to take the children to school in the morning, don’t start off by complaining about how you have to do everything during this time of the day, or talking about an appointment that you have scheduled for the following morning. Simply state your needs calmly and politely to your spouse, and you might be amazed at how receptive he is to fulfilling your requests. Remember, no matter how long you’ve been married, your spouse never signed on to be a mind reader. Don’t force him into that position, or you are both destined to be disappointed.

Communication is indeed one of the most important components to a healthy marriage relationship, and the first step to constructive communication is to look at the other person’s point of view before you ever even open your mouth. This will ensure that your spouse never has to feel defensive during a conversation, or hunt in vain for the meaning of a message that you are trying to convey. When good dialogue is present between a couple, many other positive factors will fall into place as well.

For more self help information, visit Help Self Woman Book Club where you can download and read as many self help books as you'll ever need. At Help Self Woman you will receive self advice including, anxiety self help, debt self help, depression self help, memory self help, mental health self help, public speaking self help, self help parenting, self esteem self help, self help divorce, self help hypnosis, self help marriage, speed reading self help, adoption self help, stress management self help and more! September 11th, 2007 by Admin in Self Help Marriage | Comment (1)

Make Them See your Point with Visual Aids

If you have done a lot of public speaking, then you probably already know the value of using visual aids to get and keep an audience’s interest. If you are new to the public speaking scene, you may very well appreciate having a point of interest that the audience can focus attention on rather than on you. Visual aids can be the key to successful public speaking, when they are used well. And once you have a few basic guidelines under your belt on how to effectively utilize visuals in your speech, the sky will be the limit in finding ways to illustrate your points creatively.

Why Use Visual Aids?

There are a number of reasons to use visual aids to enhance a speech. First, most people will remember a picture that they see much longer than words that they hear. This means that your visual prop will make your message a memorable one. Next, visual aids can be a substitute for using notes during your speech. By lining up your visual aids in order, you can keep track of all of the points that you want to make. Visuals can also make your speech more interesting, creative and even humorous when appropriate. Using props during a speech is often what makes public speaking fun.

Types of Visual Aids

There is any number of visual aid options that you can use. Overhead projectors, Power Point presentations, flip charts, videos and handouts are just a few of the most common types of illustrative tools that are used. You can also use props to illustrate a point, and your choices here are only limited by your imagination. You can use extra large props for fun, or dress up in a fun costume that tie into your topic. Do an easy magic trick, juggle or opt for a gag prop. Your audience will get a laugh, and your speech is sure to be remembered.

There are a few guidelines to keep in mind when using props in public speaking. First, it is a good idea not to let your audience see your prop until you are ready to use it. The element of surprise is a powerful attention getter. When you bring that prop out of hiding, make sure that you continue to address your audience directly instead of focusing your attention on the object itself. Finally, make sure that the object that you choose will easily be seen by everyone in your audience.

These public speaking guidelines are also important to keep in mind if you are using the more traditional visual aids like overhead transparencies or flip charts. Make sure that your illustrations completely fill the page that you are showing to your audience and use colors that are easy to see, like blue, black and green for the majority of the wording that you use. Test out your visual aid equipment prior to your scheduled speech and make sure that the room you will be talking in is well stocked with electrical outlets, cords, flip charts and whatever else you may require.

Visuals are a great way to draw your audience into your topic and help them effectively remember your message. Get creative and have fun with the illustrations that you use, and you are guaranteed a successful public speaking experience!

For more self help information, visit Help Self Woman Book Club where you can download and read as many self help books as you'll ever need. At Help Self Woman you will receive self advice including, anxiety self help, debt self help, depression self help, memory self help, mental health self help, public speaking self help, self help parenting, self esteem self help, self help divorce, self help hypnosis, self help marriage, speed reading self help, adoption self help, stress management self help and more! September 4th, 2007 by Admin in Uncategorized | No Comments

Using Hypnosis to Think Yourself Thin

Losing weight is not an easy task for most of us. It seems that while you may see some initial success through dieting, especially when it is combined with daily exercise, the results can be fleeting and downright frustrating. But we all know that too much weight is not a healthy way of life. The extra pounds need to come off. How in the world are we going to achieve our weight loss goals?

The answer is not simple, but it is indeed achievable with the right combination of methods in place. For some, this may mean a program that incorporates a healthy diet and daily exercise, but some folks may need a little more help. Some have found this help in the form of hypnosis for weight loss. There is actually quite a bit of research that has been done to determine whether hypnosis can indeed be an effective tool in a comprehensive weight loss program. And the results of some of this research have been compelling, to say the least.

Over the past couple of decades, clinical studies have shown a link between hypnosis and losing weight. Not only does hypnosis seem to help people lose more pounds overall, research also suggests that folks who continue to use hypnosis for weight loss will be able to keep the pounds off for a longer period of time. However, it is important to note that the best results regarding hypnosis for weight loss came as a part of a comprehensive weight loss program that combined the hypnotherapy with a healthy, low-calorie diet and daily exercise.

Hypnosis is not the novelty act that many folks visualize. The reality is that hypnosis is generally used in a clinical setting, and is facilitated with a licensed therapist or psychologist that is well trained in the methods of hypnosis. There is a small percentage of the population that responds extremely well to hypnosis, and another small percentage that is not able to be hypnotized at all. If you are resistant to this form of therapy, chances are that your sessions will not be particularly effective. However, if you go into your sessions as a willing participant that is ready to try any weight loss method available, you may indeed see some positive results from hypnotherapy.

During a hypnosis session, your therapist will bring you into a relaxed physical and mental state that will make you much more open to the power of suggestion. The therapist will explore your reasons for your weight problem, and will then offer affirmative statements to you that will help to alter your attitudes toward food or exercise. For example, if you tend to fall to the strong afternoon temptations of sweets, your therapist may tell you that you are no longer interested in these foods during this time of the day. He may then suggest that your cravings are for fresh fruits or vegetables. This type of therapy can help you to curb those powerful temptations that can sabotage your weight loss efforts.

Hypnosis has been found to be an effective therapy for many types of issues, including addictions, phobias and even pain management. Now many people are turning to this method as a means of successful weight loss as well. If you combine hypnosis sessions with a healthy diet, daily exercise, and perhaps appointments with a nutritionist and personal trainer, you may indeed see those extra pounds begin to drop away. The better health that you can enjoy from your successful weight loss efforts, the more motivated that you will be to continue with your weight loss program.

If you have been trying to lose the extra pounds for a long time without success, perhaps it is time to consider hypnosis for your overall weight loss program. The most you have to lose is the cost of a few sessions – and that extra weight!

For more self help information, visit Help Self Woman Book Club where you can download and read as many self help books as you'll ever need. At Help Self Woman you will receive self advice including, anxiety self help, debt self help, depression self help, memory self help, mental health self help, public speaking self help, self help parenting, self esteem self help, self help divorce, self help hypnosis, self help marriage, speed reading self help, adoption self help, stress management self help and more! August 20th, 2007 by Admin in Self Help Hypnosis | No Comments

Games to Keep your Memory Fit

Use it or lose it. This philosophy seems to have so many applications as we get older, doesn’t it? We exercise daily to keep our muscle tone intact. We read and watch the news to keep up on daily events. We eat healthy foods to keep our bodies healthy and help prevent diseases. But what are we doing to keep our memories sharp and fit?

Unfortunately, many of us don’t think about keeping our memories sharp as we age. We attribute those increasingly frequent lapses of memory as the progression of years, or perhaps (gulp!) the beginning symptoms of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. However, scientists are continuing to find evidence that suggests that a deteriorating memory may actually be a result of lack of use. The good news is that there is a solution to this remembering problem – and it can actually be more enjoyable than you think!

When was the last time you indulged yourself with a challenging crossword puzzle from the Sunday newspaper? Or enjoyed a game of Solitaire on your computer – or the old fashioned way, with a deck of cards? Have you checked out the newest rage in mental puzzles, called Sodoku? If you have answered an emphatic “no” to any or all of these questions, it may be time to start thinking about fitness for your memory!

It doesn’t matter whether your mind swings more to numbers, words or strategy games. You can find a challenging mental game that you enjoy, and this will make it much more likely that you will find the time for your puzzles every day. Some folks find that a crossword puzzle before bed will clear their minds and help them sleep. Others prefer to spend lunch hour with a deck of cards or an electronic Sodoku game. You can grab a partner to enjoy a daily go at Scrabble or Cribbage if competition is more to your liking. “Just do it,” as one popular shoe manufacturer used to say, and your mind is guaranteed to repay you with sharper thinking skills and an enhanced memory.

Other fun activities that will keep your memory fit are to learn a new craft or foreign language. You are never too old to pick up a new skill or hobby! Take a class in something you have always wanted to learn, but were always hesitant to try. What, exactly, have you got to lose? Even indulging in a paperback mystery will put your mind back in action. If you prefer, pick up a heavier read that deals with religion or philosophy. Your mind will need to keep working if you are going to dissect topics so complex. And you will undoubtedly enjoy this walk on the intellectual side for a change of pace.

So how often should you grant yourself the luxury of a puzzle, game or great read? Would every day seem like too much? Probably not, when you discover how much fun exercising your mind can be. If you are new to this memory fitness game, your local discount or grocery store will probably be a good place to start. These merchants usually offer a plethora of inexpensive books and magazines that will give you plenty of fun for your buck. Or check out the games on your computer software. I guarantee that you will find yourself addicted to challenges like FreeCell or Spider Solitaire in no time at all. Enjoy those games!

For more tips on how to improve your memory, please visit, Powerful Ways to Sharpen Your Memory - where you will learn tips on how to easily remember names, faces, numbers, events and almost any information, using simple yet powerful techniques that even a 12 year old can apply.

For more self help information, visit Help Self Woman Book Club where you can download and read as many self help books as you'll ever need. At Help Self Woman you will receive self advice including, anxiety self help, debt self help, depression self help, memory self help, mental health self help, public speaking self help, self help parenting, self esteem self help, self help divorce, self help hypnosis, self help marriage, speed reading self help, adoption self help, stress management self help and more! August 12th, 2007 by Admin in Memory Self Help | No Comments

How to Appreciate your Spouse

Most of us would agree that we all like to be appreciated once in a while. What about your spouse? When was the last time he showed appreciation to you? Or, better yet, when was the last time you showed appreciation to him?

Here’s the really cool thing about appreciation. When you begin to truly appreciate your spouse, it becomes nearly impossible to take that marriage for granted. And when you take the time to nurture a relationship in the proper way, the chances are very good that the other person involved will do the same. There are many simple steps that you can take to begin treating your spouse like the VIP of your life that he is.

Accept your spouse. Sure, your hubby may have a laundry list of annoying habits that seemed cute at the beginning of the relationship but now only serve to drive you completely batty. Guess what? Your husband probably has a similar laundry list that pertains to your irritating habits. Why get all worked up about the fact that your husband leaves the toothpaste cap off or never puts his shoes away? Accept your spouse for the human that he is, and you are guaranteed to appreciate him more.
Live each day as if it were your last. Okay, it may sound a tad fatalistic, but sometimes we really can’t appreciate the positives until we imagine life without them. Your husband would most definitely fit this bill. Even on your most tenuous day, your life with your spouse is always better than life without. Love your spouse for the gift that he is, and the appreciation is sure to follow.
Treat your spouse as you would a house guest. Isn’t it funny how we always bring out the fine china when company comes to call? We want visitors to feel welcome, comfortable and special. Shouldn’t we want the same for our spouse? Instead of saving your best behavior for guests, try some of those good habits out on your spouse. Remember to say “please” and “thank you” when appropriate, and politely listen to what he has to say without interrupting. Use your best manners with your hubby, and maybe you really will get him to be on his best behavior with you.
Put your spouse’s needs first. It’s actually not at all unusual for one person in a relationship to get apprehensive about the idea of always putting the other person first. After all, human nature says that we should always look out for number one, and if we cease to do so, we may become a doormat for the significant other in the relationship. However, in many cases, the opposite is actually true. Your husband is highly likely to appreciate the way you are showing appreciation to him by putting his needs and desires ahead of your own. What goes around often does come around.
Touch your spouse every day. There are very few people in life who do not respond positively to the power of human touch. By holding your husband’s hand, offering a hug or an impromptu back rub, you are showing your spouse that you are still as much in love with him as ever. And there is no better appreciation than that.

Appreciation is one of the cornerstones to a happy marriage. Even when you’ve had your fill of hubby leaving dirty laundry on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink, a simple act to show gratitude to that special person in your life will rekindle the flame like nothing else. Love is in the air.

Learn how to fight for your marriage. Get the tips you need to save your marriage and keep it strong.

For more self help information, visit Help Self Woman Book Club where you can download and read as many self help books as you'll ever need. At Help Self Woman you will receive self advice including, anxiety self help, debt self help, depression self help, memory self help, mental health self help, public speaking self help, self help parenting, self esteem self help, self help divorce, self help hypnosis, self help marriage, speed reading self help, adoption self help, stress management self help and more! July 30th, 2007 by Admin in Self Help Marriage | No Comments

Raising Tweeners: Part 2

In the last post, we talked about what a “tweener” is and why this is such a challenging phase for kids and parents alike. Now we will discuss the practical ways that parents can use this stage to nurture the basis for healthy and happy teen years. The truth is that much of what you do as a parent now will greatly affect how you child survives his time in high school. This is the time to lay the groundwork for that important time of life by working with you child to help him understand who he is and fostering the relationship between the two of you.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), children are less likely to use alcohol as teens if their parents begin laying groundwork when the kids are ten or eleven. This means to communicate with your child daily, let them know what the expectations are for them, and practice good supervision and consistent discipline. In other words, don’t slack with your tweener and you will enjoy your teenager all the more.

Still not convinced? Research done at the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University shows that “hands on” parenting will keep teens away from negative behaviors like drinking, smoking and using drugs. To be a “hands on” parent, you must monitor the time your child spends in front of the television and computer. Beware of the many images that you child may see telling him that sex in the teen years is okay and that “everybody” is drinking and smoking. You also need to know where your child is at night and on the weekends, and set a curfew to ensure that you child is home at a reasonable time every night. Know where your kid is at in school, and encourage him to keep his grades up. Finally, eat dinner with your kids, and this does not mean in front of the television set. Dinnertime is a great time to talk about the dangers of drugs and alcohol too, so that your child will be prepared for the inevitable peer pressure that is to come.

It may sound like a lot of work, and you may be thinking that your child is not going to like you getting in his face and asking too many questions about where he’s going, what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with! Of course he won’t! But you are the parent, and nobody ever said that job was going to be easy. It will, however, be worthwhile if you end up with a teenager that succeeds in school and in life. Stick with him through the rocky years – he needs you to more than he even knows.

It won’t be easy. You can help yourself by finding other parents that are going through a similar phase of life. Try to find those that share your parenting philosophies and values. Look for potential comrades in battle within your neighborhood, at your child’s school or through a church or other place of worship. Knowing that you are not alone in your struggles with your tweener will help more than you can imagine.

You can also build a good knowledge base about your child at various phases of life by reading books, attending seminars and talking to other parents who have already been through the phase that you are currently in the throes of. Knowledge is indeed power, and you can use all the power you can get when going head to head with an independent tweener!

While your instinct may be to back off of your child during the tween years, your kid needs you more than ever now. Make sure that the two of you spend plenty of quality time together, so that you have the opportunity to instill the values into your child that you think are most important. Enjoy the time as much as possible, because the teen years are coming! Hang on tight, and enjoy the ride.

For more self help information, visit Help Self Woman Book Club where you can download and read as many self help books as you'll ever need. At Help Self Woman you will receive self advice including, anxiety self help, debt self help, depression self help, memory self help, mental health self help, public speaking self help, self help parenting, self esteem self help, self help divorce, self help hypnosis, self help marriage, speed reading self help, adoption self help, stress management self help and more! July 22nd, 2007 by Admin in Parenting Advice | No Comments

How to Raise a Tweener

The world of parenting comes with a whole host of questions and challenges that don’t seem to get any easier as time goes on. You survive the baby stage only to come face to face with a strong willed toddler. That child becomes an independent preschooler, and then it’s off to school with all of the issues that go along with it. Before you know it, your kid is now a tweener, and the questions begin all over again. How do you adjust your parenting style to meet the needs of your growing child? Where is the balance in fostering independence and providing security? What in the world is a tweener?

First things first. A tweener has been defined as a child between the ages of 10 to 14 – you know, those awkward middle school years that most of us remember no matter how hard we try to forget. This is the stage of life where your child is really no longer a child, but he is still too young to be considered an adult – or even a teenager. Yep, a tweener is what you’ve got, and you will only be kidding yourself if you think you get to coast on your parenting skills for the next few years. The good news is that there are some helpful guidelines that you can follow to help that tweener blossom into the responsible, happy teenager that you have been hoping for.

Before taking those tween years by the horns, let’s talk about some of the issues that kids might be facing at this age. First, the road to independence is littered with confusion over identity and conflict with parents. These kids want to get a taste of the world on their own, but cutting the cord isn’t ever easy for either side of the equation. Second, sexuality comes to the forefront of your tweener’s life and thoughts, with concerns over his or her physical appearance and an increased interest in the opposite sex. This is also the age where a lot of kids will begin to test the boundaries again and may experiment with alcohol and other substances. This is generally the time when role models will become more prevalent in your child’s life, as he begins to figure out his own values and self-direction.

Whew, who’s having fun now? Just keep in mind that the first step in overcoming issues is to identify them, so you are halfway there in figuring out what to do with that tweener in your house. Now comes the hard part – learning how to respond to the many factors that are defining your child’s life at this point. Hang on to your hats, moms and dads; we may be in for a bumpy ride.

The idea here is to continue to love and support your kid with everything you’ve got, while you begin to encourage your child’s need for independence at the same time. In other words, teach him how to use his strong will for good instead of evil. Now is the time to teach your kid how to perform practical tasks like cooking a meal or managing his money. Believe it or not, with the right touch from the parents, your son or daughter can become a productive member of the family and actually enjoy doing so. Make sure that as your child is trying to master these new skills, he is getting plenty of love and encouragement from you.

Parenting a tweener may come with its own unique set of challenges, but take heart! When you handle this stage in a loving, supportive manner, you are that much closer to having a teenager that you can enjoy and be proud of. Love your tweener.

For more parenting advice, check out Smart Parenting - Raising Happy and Responsible Children In The 21st Century.

For more self help information, visit Help Self Woman Book Club where you can download and read as many self help books as you'll ever need. At Help Self Woman you will receive self advice including, anxiety self help, debt self help, depression self help, memory self help, mental health self help, public speaking self help, self help parenting, self esteem self help, self help divorce, self help hypnosis, self help marriage, speed reading self help, adoption self help, stress management self help and more! July 15th, 2007 by Admin in Parenting Advice | No Comments

Using Hypnosis to Overcome Phobias

What are you afraid of? Water? Spiders? For some folks, basic fears of particular objects or experiences become intense enough that one begins to alter his life to avoid the subject that causes the anxiety. This can create a disruption to daily living and a lower quality of life. Many in this situation would be willing to try almost anything to put that fear away once and for all. However, if you have a fear that borders on a phobia, you know how difficult it is to put that anxiety behind you and confront your fear head on. There are no quick and easy solutions to a phobia issue, but one method that has seen some success in conquering intense fears and anxieties is hypnosis.

To understand the reasons that hypnosis works for some, you must understand the original cause of many intense anxieties. Often a person who has an intense fear to something experienced a traumatic event earlier in life that caused that fear to surface. For example, someone who panics every time he is near water may have had the experience of falling into a pool. A person who has a phobia of public speaking may have had a situation where he froze in front of a roomful of strangers. The event triggered a fear or anxiety inside of the person, and that fear gradually grew to proportions that began to affect many aspects of his life.

The reason that hypnotherapy can work in these situations is because it can reach into the subconscious mind where much of your past information is stored. During a hypnotherapy session, your therapist will put you into a relaxed state that will allow you to retrieve information from your subconscious that will be pertinent to dealing with your specific issue. Your hypnotherapist will be able to effectively communicate with your subconscious mind to determine the source of your panic. This will allow you to confront your fear head-on and deal with it in the best way.

Hypnotherapy has been used to successfully treat many issues, including a fear of flying and social phobias that are some of the most difficult to deal with in daily life. A phobia of air travel can keep you from visiting people and places that you want to see. Social phobias can surface in a variety of ways, but can keep you from shopping trips, parties and even getting a quality education. If you suffer from one of these intense fears, you know how it can get in the way of allowing you to enjoy your life to the fullest. Wouldn’t it be great to finally say goodbye to that overwhelming panic once and for all?

Many will not consider hypnosis as a potential “cure” for their phobias, because they are apprehensive about how a hypnotherapy session will go. Some of us have visions of hypnosis as a novelty act, with a hypnotized person performing embarrassing acts against his will for the entertainment of the crowd. The truth is that this is not remotely what a real hypnotherapy session is all about.

First, a session will take place between you and a certified therapist that you have chosen after carefully assessing his qualifications and experience. You will sit or lie in a comfortable position that will help to induce a deep state of relaxation. Your therapist will then be able to tap into your subconscious mind for information and memories that will help to analyze your current fear and find ways to overcome it. You will never be out of control, and in many cases you will remember everything that happened during the session. It is also important to note that you cannot be hypnotized against your will. Hypnotherapy is a matter of choice, and it can be a successful method for some in overcoming fears and anxieties. Find a hypnotherapist that you can be comfortable with, and see what his therapies can do for you.

Click here to learn more about hypnosis. Learn how it can help you have more confidence, live a better life, break your bad habits, lose weight and more!

For more self help information, visit Help Self Woman Book Club where you can download and read as many self help books as you'll ever need. At Help Self Woman you will receive self advice including, anxiety self help, debt self help, depression self help, memory self help, mental health self help, public speaking self help, self help parenting, self esteem self help, self help divorce, self help hypnosis, self help marriage, speed reading self help, adoption self help, stress management self help and more! July 8th, 2007 by Admin in Self Help Hypnosis | No Comments

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Raising Tweeners: Part 2

How to Raise a Tweener

Using Hypnosis to Overcome Phobias

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