The world of parenting comes with a whole host of questions and challenges that don’t seem to get any easier as time goes on. You survive the baby stage only to come face to face with a strong willed toddler. That child becomes an independent preschooler, and then it’s off to school with all of the issues that go along with it. Before you know it, your kid is now a tweener, and the questions begin all over again. How do you adjust your parenting style to meet the needs of your growing child? Where is the balance in fostering independence and providing security? What in the world is a tweener?

First things first. A tweener has been defined as a child between the ages of 10 to 14 – you know, those awkward middle school years that most of us remember no matter how hard we try to forget. This is the stage of life where your child is really no longer a child, but he is still too young to be considered an adult – or even a teenager. Yep, a tweener is what you’ve got, and you will only be kidding yourself if you think you get to coast on your parenting skills for the next few years. The good news is that there are some helpful guidelines that you can follow to help that tweener blossom into the responsible, happy teenager that you have been hoping for.

Before taking those tween years by the horns, let’s talk about some of the issues that kids might be facing at this age. First, the road to independence is littered with confusion over identity and conflict with parents. These kids want to get a taste of the world on their own, but cutting the cord isn’t ever easy for either side of the equation. Second, sexuality comes to the forefront of your tweener’s life and thoughts, with concerns over his or her physical appearance and an increased interest in the opposite sex. This is also the age where a lot of kids will begin to test the boundaries again and may experiment with alcohol and other substances. This is generally the time when role models will become more prevalent in your child’s life, as he begins to figure out his own values and self-direction.

Whew, who’s having fun now? Just keep in mind that the first step in overcoming issues is to identify them, so you are halfway there in figuring out what to do with that tweener in your house. Now comes the hard part – learning how to respond to the many factors that are defining your child’s life at this point. Hang on to your hats, moms and dads; we may be in for a bumpy ride.

The idea here is to continue to love and support your kid with everything you’ve got, while you begin to encourage your child’s need for independence at the same time. In other words, teach him how to use his strong will for good instead of evil. Now is the time to teach your kid how to perform practical tasks like cooking a meal or managing his money. Believe it or not, with the right touch from the parents, your son or daughter can become a productive member of the family and actually enjoy doing so. Make sure that as your child is trying to master these new skills, he is getting plenty of love and encouragement from you.

Parenting a tweener may come with its own unique set of challenges, but take heart! When you handle this stage in a loving, supportive manner, you are that much closer to having a teenager that you can enjoy and be proud of. Love your tweener.

For more parenting advice, check out Smart Parenting - Raising Happy and Responsible Children In The 21st Century.