Do you and your spouse feel like two birds of a feather, or are you dreaming about flying the coop? marriage is hard work, but the rewards of a happy marriage are infinitely satisfying. Some statistics show that couples who stay married tend to live longer, healthier lives. Doesn’t that sound nice? And all it takes is riding the waves with that person that you said, “I do,” to in the first place. But in case you find that easier said than done on occasion (and who doesn’t?), here are five keys to help you weather the stormier days.

1. Always put your spouse first. Just think of how much happier marriage could be if both people involved spent all of their time trying to make the other blissfully happy. Okay, you’re right – your spouse may not be trying that hard. But somebody has to get the ball rolling, right? Next time the two of you can’t agree on what to do Friday night, let your spouse choose. When you come home from work tomorrow, ask your mate about his day before you even mention your own. And the next time you feel the urge to say something critical or unkind to the person that you love the most, stop and think about how it will make her feel. Your marriage is probably looking much happier already!

2. Forget the criticism. It is much easier to focus on the negatives of life – or of your spouse – than to put the positives at the forefront. It takes effort to make positive thinking a habit. But don’t we all love to be around people who make us feel good about ourselves? And who feels good when the criticisms start flying? If you need help getting started on this key, try taking a few minutes a day to jot down the characteristics of your spouse that attracted you to him when you first met. Or write a couple of reasons why you are thankful to be married to this person. Once you begin this positive habit, you will be amazed at how much easier it becomes to see all the great qualities of your spouse.

3. Get real. If most of us were to be painfully honest, we would have to admit that when we first married our mate, we had certain traits in mind that we thought we would be able to “fix” after the wedding vows. Unrealistic expectations about what marriage or your spouse will be like after the wedding day has caused serious problems in many a relationship. It’s time to come down to earth and see your spouse as who he really is – faults and all. Keep in mind that you love him despite those faults, and living with the minor annoyances is highly preferable to living without your mate!

4. Learn to listen. A good listener will have a good idea of the other person’s points of view, which will make it much easier to understand that mate that you are living with. A wise spouse will learn to talk less and listen more. We all like to feel that what we say is considered important to the person that we are talking to. Lend an ear, and the rewards for your marriage can be great indeed.

5. Have fun together. Yes, this may sound quite easy if you are in the early years of your relationship. However, demanding careers, children and even extended family can sap your time and attention so there is very little left for each other. Does a weekly date night sound like more than your schedule can spare? In that case, you may be too busy to nurture a truly healthy marriage. Make time for each other, and spend it doing things that you both enjoy. Quality time breeds quality relationships.

There is no doubt that marriage requires time and effort, but bear in mind that a little can go a long way. Put your mate back up on that pedestal where he belongs, at least in your eyes, and make sure that you are spending plenty of quality time together.

For more self help marriage tips, please see: Fighting For Your marriage.

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