No matter how long the two of you have enjoyed wedded bliss, there is always room for improving your marriage. Sometimes, couples who have been together for many years begin to take the need for good communication for granted, and the result can be misunderstandings or no communication at all. Those who are just beginning on the marriage road will do well to heed constructive advice on the best methods for getting your points across to one another. Communication is one of the cornerstones to a healthy marriage,

• Listen, listen, listen. Shall we say it again? Listening is the first step in knowing what your spouse is trying to tell you, and yet good listening skills are not necessarily something that we come by naturally. To really know what your mate is saying, you may need to hone your hearing so you get the meaning behind the words as well. Active listening involves repeating information back to your speaker to ensure that you comprehend the message accurately. It usually begins with statements like, “So if I understand you correctly…” or “What I am hearing from you is…”Active listening is the first step on the road to effective communication with your spouse.
• Say goodbye to distractions. No matter how good you are at active listening skills, you will not be picking much information out of a dialogue if you are distracted by the kids, the telephone or the television. Find time to talk while the kids are outside playing, at a friend’s house or asleep. Turn off the television, and let the answering machine pick up your calls. Getting rid of potential distractions prior to a conversation will let your mate know that you think his message is important, and will open the door to effective conversation right away.
• Say what you mean. When it is your turn to talk, don’t rely on your spouse’s intuition to pick up on your message correctly. If you would like your spouse to take the children to school in the morning, don’t start off by complaining about how you have to do everything during this time of the day, or talking about an appointment that you have scheduled for the following morning. Simply state your needs calmly and politely to your spouse, and you might be amazed at how receptive he is to fulfilling your requests. Remember, no matter how long you’ve been married, your spouse never signed on to be a mind reader. Don’t force him into that position, or you are both destined to be disappointed.

Communication is indeed one of the most important components to a healthy marriage relationship, and the first step to constructive communication is to look at the other person’s point of view before you ever even open your mouth. This will ensure that your spouse never has to feel defensive during a conversation, or hunt in vain for the meaning of a message that you are trying to convey. When good dialogue is present between a couple, many other positive factors will fall into place as well.

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